I don’t want to feel. I press into you knowing the world will fade into darkness. Into a world unexplored and ferocious.

I feel you in the deepest part of my body. As I squirm with fear of how this will all make me feel at the end, how it could ruin me.

As I squirm with pleasure, as you turn my body into your own. Deeper and deeper this goes, and I’m spiraling out of control.

In your arms I feel alive, complicated, and unpredictable. I breathe you in, take you inside of me, exhaling the weight of it all.

I don’t want to feel, yet I’ve never felt so much,  so fast. My soul is somehow infatuated with you, burning with curiosity, blinded by desire. My head is fighting you off, like a virus infecting my body.

Your taste lingers on my lips, and my soul cries out for  you. I keep asking myself, why? Why am I captivated by your eyes, why do I crave the softness of lips pressed against my own?

You’re nothing more than a mirage, a person I created in my mind. You infest my mind, the impression of your touch is left on my body.

I close my eyes and Your strong arms are wrapped around me, I feel small and protected in a way that is foreign. I ache for you, when I lay down to dream, and when I open my eyes to a new day.

I’ve been a fool for you and now I think I’m just a fool. Lost in the intoxicated feeling of a fantasy, a life that doesn’t really exist. A feeling that burns fast and burns out even faster. Foolish, foolish girl I am.