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Jul 2019
Can you see me?
I’m standing still while running circles,
fixated as if I'm looking through you,
Can you see me, yet?

I’m sorry you can’t understand,
Maybe it’s better off that way.
I can’t have you feeling this pain for it choke you,
You my dear are strong,
but this takes a deeper strength.
A weight only people like me can carry.
I could never ask you to walk in my shoes for that might still sometimes isn’t enough.
I still feel smothered,
In a lifeless body.
Can you see me floating?
Can you see me arguing with myself?
I have good days, but I have just as many bad,
The bad takes over at times and wears out its welcome.
Can you see me?
I used to be full of life,
I miss me.
I know you miss me as well,
But I’m on pause,
And with that I have no answers,
because without fault you'll never see me,
for I'm afraid that that girl just may be dead,
by no means to be seen again.
Trying to get through to my husband that my depression is so severe that I'll never been that girl he fell in love with again.
Natalie M Lawrence
Written by
Natalie M Lawrence  32/F
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