I'm not doing good at all anymore. I always have to fake a smile even when I am breaking. My best friend acts like she hates me. She makes me feel like trash 24/7. I've been thinking about suicide non-stop now. The thoughts will not go away. I have been balancing on a little edge and don't know how long until I finally fall. Maybe it would be better if I just end it. I can't handle all this pain anymore. Nothing has been helping me. I'm starting to close off more than ever. I feel like I deserved to be mistreated. I still deserve to be mistreated. Can someone just end my life right now? I can't keep putting others through having to talk to me. I act strong, but can't do it for much longer. I hate every single thing about me. I'm the biggest mistake in the world. Please, somebody **** me. I don't deserve to live. I shouldn't have even been born. I don't want to wake up anymore. The pain I put myself through is numb. I don't feel the digging of my nails into my skin anymore. I keep doing it constantly. I'm gonna have to switch to a blade. Somebody took them away from me before I was able to use them. Now I have to get new ones. I don't want to live anymore. I want this pain to end. Nothing takes these thoughts away anymore. I can't deal with it. I'm not strong enough. I never was. Please, end me now.