My environment raised me to fantasize
and romanticize fairytale plots
Constantly told Everyones special, but if
everyone’s special, is special... not

told violence isn’t the answer, but grown men start wars, told its childish to fully
Manipulate and intimidate at school...
like adult workplaces don’t have bullies

My lack of contentment and resentment
are petty and petulant, so I’ll recant it
but impossible expectations make failure an inevitable feeling as disenchantment

comes from being sold magic and gold dreams were told to chase and harbour
but reality showed the fallacy, cuz the only happy endings are in massage parlours

Cuz maturation, brings lacerations
a mental state knowing only ******* for self exploration, so complications
with my identity caused me exasperation

so my child will learn of the wild waitin
Nothing inhumane, just rationalization
No Unrealistic imagery, or idealistic epiphany, just realizations


Instead of illusions most institutions
that directly rooted, or Alluded
Being intoxicated left toxic hatred,  
I got from the delusive undiluted

Euphoric delusion, an intrusion conducive  
with ecstasy come downs, now habitual
feeling missed opportunities residual
like manifestation of the metaphysical

actually exists, it insists, a ritual
a nagging cyst that sits, subliminal
like a psyches itch, that persists, and only exists, cuz I can’t resist, being miserable

but what is emphatically unequivocal
makes me combatively typical
Like my psychosis births mitosis roaches
that are magically cynical

like an angry lucky charms leprechaun who’s going insane, way passed clinical cuz I’m too myopic to see this topic,
making me neurotic, isn’t the typical

response cuz logic isnt the pinnacle
when trying to ration what is invisible
and take the hypothetically and try to remedy, what’s not theoretically divisible

So I’m left where I began, remaining
Knowing my complaining, is draining
Partially wishing, for the convincing
the world is beautiful, the painting

I use to see when faith in humans
and in destiny, still arresting me
instead of seeing how dark and cold it is, unable to ignore the unpleasantry

life isn’t all jewels and sparkling glitter
Happy thoughts & rainbows  and that
Doesn’t change earths mean maggots
Like jean jackets bedazzled, it’s still crap