I'm scared
I'm scared that this black pit
Is the best I'll ever get
I'm scared that everything I've ever worked for
Is nothing more than another failure
I'm scared that you don't actually love me
That I'm just another vacant seat at the table of your mind
I'm scared that the moment I get behind the wheel
I'll desire nothing more than it all to end
I'm scared that I've got nowhere else to go
That I'm unemployable
I'm terrified that there will always be a catch
A doubt, a hesitation
I'm scared that I'm I forgettable
That I'm worthless
I'm terrified that no one will understand
That I'm completely alone
I'm afraid that I need help
But the help I need is beyond my pay grade
I'm afraid that the emptiness I feel is how it will always be
Because I have nothing to fill the void
I've been passed over
I've been abandoned
I've been forgotten
And I can't let it go...
My deepest fears have been acknowledged
And validated
And now I'm afraid
I'm pathetic,
I'm worthless
I'm afraid that to the world,
I may not even exist