where was i ? most importantly where am i ?
i've held onto escapism to the point that i can't get back in touch with reality.
that ferocious reality that feeds on broken dreams, a ferocious reality that i can't get along with, a ferocious reality that tore me apart mentally, a ferocious reality that killed consciousness, a ferocious reality that tied everyone down with it's inhuman traditions.
i"ve always had the tendency to seek other distractions. why are the walls moving? why's everything joyfully dancing? what's happening? what's my distraction ? most importantly, what's my poison?
here i am lost, seeing everything jiggle with a belly-ache.
i can barely see, living seconds, losing pride, with a thought of unhappiness that i can't shake.
am i unconsciously losing my mind? or am i consciously trying to?
i'm not trying to, it can't be true.
dear god,you left me with The Complex Nature of this Simple Posession, four walls and a roof.
you say that you are close, is close the closest star. walls against my word, i wonder who can listen if they're just shouts into the void. it's this cruelty that i try to avoid.
somebody guide me, since this liquor took over me. i thought it would help set me free.
and forget society's careless underdevoloped mentality,
i'm locked inside my brain, i pledged to never use my mind in vain and now i don't know where i am.
this can't be my fate, i was destinate a greater glory. dear self i'm really sorry,
for what i've become.
dear cold white walls stop dancing and sob for my misery. the same misery you said it'll fade away when i'm old, and now it became a part of me that'll always stay.
when i was yound all my parents did was to prevent me, now all my dreams are gone. society did the same and i don't recall being it's son.
i can barely open my eyes, but i can observe these silhouettes of men trying to comfort me.
"HELP!!" my word against their loud phrases that i can't understand.
"open your eyes"
"OPEN THEM"
"i can't"
"YES YOU CAN!"
they're gone, i'm left now with six double edged swords forming the perfect hexagon.
is it the six cheap litres of luiquor that i drank, or the story of six years of me ruining my life.
after feeling the stab of society's blunt and rusty knife, that stayed in my heart ignoring the tears i bled.
i'm alive what a tragedy, i can take my own life away isn't that a phenomenon.life goes on and on and i'm stuck. facing this inevitable oblivion after every sip i take. realising that the oblivion i am seeking is permanent. and i'm back again with memories of this monstrous reality.

i cry, i drink then die, replacing this sorrowful truth with a happier lie.