Untitled
I needed a break
so I threw my self into all the things that needed to be done every day and neglected you for some time
for 3 months or so
I have never been away from you for so long
but that should have been enough time to cleanse the mind
I am happy to say that the tears are gone
the wall is slowly going up
I am ok with this
I need to focus on me
I gave you way to many chances
too many fresh starts
bid you goodnight with hey don't worry tomorrow is a new day
well now that's going to change
It isn't really me it was always you
I took the first step and then second and kept on going
but like always you never stayed in one place
you were actually all over the place
and I always found myself in a mess and had to stay calm no matter what
because well, one of us had to be grounded
That should have been your job too at times
especially when I got tired of the drama and feelings and wanted to feel and understand no more then the warm embrace of your arms
it would have been more then enough to shake away the cold thoughts and insecurities
I smiled and exuded confidence but most of the time for your own benefit
Now I cant even do that for myself
I have formed the habit of staring into the distance and thinking hard
so hard that people now think that I am always mad
mad at world
when truthfully I am just mad at you
I know, that's long overdue
but it's true
so mad I could scream cry and break things but I wont
I will just continue to stare as the wall goes up
I don't mind
I am ok with that