I like to come in
and lie on my bed
With the window open
and blinds all the way up
To let the sun warm me up
and the breeze make me curl
Into a lopsided ball
with a blanket on my feet.

I like to stay there for a few hazy minutes
To think about all the things
I don’t want to do
And to summon the energy required to perform tasks
That require so little physical force
It’s embarrassing.

I like to think that I deserve a break
Because I woke up so early and had to face the cold
Of this winter that produced so little snow
So I roll over and grab a connecting device.
I like to lie on my stomach or side
While looking through pictures of beautiful places
And beautiful people
And beautiful ideas
To tell myself that’s where and who I want to be.

I like to believe that staying here
Mostly doing unenjoyable tasks
That make my body and mind feel bad
Is going to pay off in a few years.
I like to imagine that I am brave
Enough to admit to myself
That this is not really for me
Because I am not happy.

I like to put the thoughts
Of the unfortunate facts
Concerning my approaching death
Out of my head.
I like to understand that I am being too dramatic
On the subject of my life and my feelings
Because in the big picture
what I want
is not important
So I should come back
and lie on my bed.