I’ve learned how it’s like without you
and every step has been excruciating
some days are easy, quiet, tolerable
because distractions are present amidst
the unforgiving hustle and bustle of life
and I’d welcome anything thrown at me to
keep you off my mind and help myself heal
—but most days are hard
They require patience, tenderness, and
strength that I can’t provide myself with
you had always kept my head out of the waters
and now I’m back to struggling how to breathe
and by then it’s just harder to pretend that
I’m not constantly dreading a future
that is not meant for us to conquer together

But I still hope (and pray and beg)
that our paths will cross again
when the time is finally right
and we are versions of ourselves
that can love each other better
and I beg, I beg, I beg
that we will survive it then

—L.m.