We watched Ruby Sparks
My whole life flashing in front of my eyes
A quite unstable kind of day

Can you see me
no you can't do because you ain't him
or is it just I don't allow you to peek?

I am Calvin, I am toxic
I am Ruby, I am submissive
I am reduced to you if you don't stop me
I will feed my problems on your image
(Why am I even thinking of you right now
where does it lead?)

But back when we were one
it was the same old brick wall
I can be loved, but I never allow anyone too close
This tangle of thorns I never fully show
because they could get lost and so I would too

This is going to crash
This ****'s sure gonna crash
I don't see anything clear now
My head aches

And you might grow inside of me
even if now it seems the roses will never spring
You planted a seed
but he's a big old oak tree

I feed the monster every day
I have affection and lust for you
but can I stay?

And it's the mood of the day
Thinking of you all the time
Confused, torn between two men
Who'd have known at 13!
(The lonely, virginal girl
who sleeps with demons in her bed)
You're bitter, you're sweet
I certainly don't want you here
But oh, you creep...

You lingered today in my thoughts
Maybe I was broken, and that was all
But same old strong
same old love?

I hold on to you
wish I knew what for
(but there's a truth though)
Wish I understood and unfold
Wish I could do right
My dad's getting angry about some crap
I have a lot in my mind
Not sorry that I am