cage: a structure of bars or wires in which birds or other animals are confined

Caged inside my own mind of worry
I can’t decide if it’s me or everyone around me
Constant paranoia eats away at me while i run from the darkness that surrounds my lungs, smoking the feeling of pain that my self-inflicted thoughts do to my gums
I’m always down, I don’t know why
I try to stay up but instead the anger triggers an evil eye
the most reliable thing I’ve ever had is music
something that drowns the thoughts of aspiring to be anorexic
denial traps my family and everyone around me
I’m suffering in silence to let them move on positively
back to the perception of a fat brown girl
I can’t believe my mum taught me to shake the feelings, to not eat the twirl
I can’t help it that I feel imprisoned within a safe home
i can’t help it that I diagnose myself with every possible syndrome
it’s easier to know there’s a label of identification than to be unaware and completely oblivious
I know, this trait of mine I don’t usually share as it’s cruel and hideous
but I just want to be loved
instead, I get a kick out of being crushed
sometimes I like the feeling of loneliness
it helps me feel as though there isn’t an emptiness
it digs at my stomach like the punches I threw at myself as I suffered from throwing my fingers back and gagging for food
just to control the unknown and how I really felt about our family feud