I lay the table in its formal best:
mahogany, silver and candlelit.
Then in separate bowls, each coloured rich and warm
I put the pieces of myself

and offered it all, banquet style
to you
the rank and sour smell of it heavy in the air

‘they’re miserable’ you said
I know.

and we were both shocked
because I thought you knew;

that’s why I need you

because we both understand darkness
but yours is not inside you.

we live in delicate balance, the universe and i
from time to time I steal myself to look
breath held and shoulders tense
cynicism brandished in anticipation

I look because I believe you when you tell me
there is beauty out there too
I look because I believe in you

but when it gets too much I fold back inside myself
and leave the fight to you

because you were made for it
in a way few people would see or understand

because it is not the cold bright intellect
that you hold, a tempered shield, against the world
that keeps you safe

it is the core of you

where anger, love and innocence burn white hot,
fierce and beautiful.

and so real that even when I am crushed and lost
in my internal black,
when I have no lightness of my own to keep me whole
I feel the light of you

and I believe you
when you tell me there is beauty
in and outside of me
even if only you can see it.