I  melt quietly
Bracing against the barrier
implanted
on the edge of a pier
The crisp cold chill of the ocean breeze
Slaps the bare skin of my arms
A beautiful night with
A looming threat
You can’t quite put your finger on

Quiet space
No weight
No intentions
no motives
No expectations

Then it jolts

The vacuity
Silent yet so loud
Heavy
Clear intentions
Clear motives with
Clear expectations I will never live up to

How can nothing bruise so deeply
If by definition it is the absence of everything

it lingers above my head
I can’t get the voices out
I’m not good enough
I shouldn’t be here
I don’t deserve this
I could stop it all now


From fifteen feet above

I can feel the rapid waves grasping me
I begin to understand the power that this water holds
Yet instead of wanting to back away from the ledge
I suddenly want to
dwindle into that hole
Let my friend’s pay the toll
I  want to dive
headfirst into the hollow
Find out how fast I can lose tomorrow

To dip your feet into a pool of nothing
And hope to gain  something
Is a  pathetic, analytic seminar on how
  to punish
those you won’t admit love you

-One more step