i want to see
all the glorious things
that are in store for me
so i must stay alive

i want to finish
all the books i put down
and never opened again
and then some more

i want to walk through forests
through meadows and mountain trails
through ocean water
through creeks in autumn

i want to draw every beautiful face
every soul worth remembering
photograph every pink-orange sunset
every smile of my dearly beloved

i want to write my poems
maybe they are only mediocre at best
but they give me a little outlet
channel out the ***** water into something beautiful

i want to fall in love
for real this time and not with someone toxic
someone real and genuine and kind
maybe it will be myself

i want my mind to be on my side
who else will guide me if not my own judgement
i need to have strength and clarity
i need to get better

i have weathered the storms
maybe more are to come
but i think i can move forward
and not forget the lessons learned