i wish i had
more confidence,
some self esteem,
a sense of happiness that isn’t fleeting.

i feel most empty
as i silently lust after
people unaware of my presence
and how i truly feel.

i would rather play on the safe side
than get too close to the flame
and get burned-
again.

i deprive myself
of the things i know i truly want
somehow i am always preoccupied with how they will disappear
rather than savoring them while they are still here.