The sun rises and coffee drips
I sip the bitter sweet blackness and think
I light a cigarette and I sink
Into another day another show.

Put on the mask and let go
Cause the real me can't survive
But no matter how much I hide it the real me shows.

I think of the world, the pain the suffering the wars.
I think of my friends and try to put a smile on
I think of my family and its cover me in emotions of a sad but sweet song.

I think of anyone to get my day on
But no one sparks me up and no I'm not in love.
And I'm not sure if that might ever happen
If I'm stuck in the state they call "madness"
Existential questions constantly on my mind
Why are we here, and does god really mind
My "sins" and how deep can we fall
And it seems like my life is on thin ice .

And I recall my dreams that are so vivid every night.
And I mix them with reality, painting an abstract painting in my mind.
Coding myself more, as meaning is held in complexity.
Or so I heard once said to me.

I sip my coffee and I think.
I used to write meaning and now its this thing.
Whatever you may call this.

I want to go after my dreams but my dreams aren't ever pretty
They're complicated and ******
And myself is nothing but this whole universe in disguise
In this case I call mine
And that makes everything matter and nothing matter

Coffee is my favorite drink
I dont do juices and other things
Just coffee or water
Black or white
Nothing inbetween

And so my mornings begin