14.

All day long I float between
galaxies and deep space.

Try to call me up but,
I’m in a daze,
stuck in my ways.

Eternities of not believing.

Confusions of forgotten Gods.
New technical ways of praying.

I take the back door to heaven.

Invite myself for dinner in the
inner circle of hell.
  
Where I am the ***** of  
daffodils.
Call me the duchess of nowhere.  

I need to stay a bit more
grounded.

I need to take a bath in black    
Earth dirt.

Catch some colour, from rays
of divine.

Where I can see the contrast in
white cloudless skies.

Count different visions. Potential realities.
The dreams I keep.
When I don’t sleep.

15.

I am standing in front
of Catholic Church doors

Praying for mythical
biblical disasters

Now I’m sitting in rooms
with lost ambitions
Praying to numbers
like it’s true religion
  
Back to the church
Holy man holds my hands

In the granite temple my
body lays
All my old lovers go there
to pray

Playing hide and seek
in a graveyard of dreams
What version of me
are you trying to see

Never knew one man had
the power to put me
on my knees
That ******* got me
to repent for things
I never did

In the ditch you’ll
find a cross

Central skid marks
the lost of  
my first love

16.

Where can I find a place,
where my haters can gather.
A online fan club,
teenagers can plan escapes  
together.

Where can I rent a church hall
filled with love lost and
repetitive regret?

I want everyone to have a safe place to say my name in vain in.

Let them sing my praises.
To my figure so perfect.
  I’ll bake golden loaves,
  brew up silver lining  moon        
   shine.

Shots going down.
Feel the burning divine.

Sunday service,
starts at a quarter to hell.

I need some time.
I need to get high.

Need a holy man to spank my
behind.

Then I’ll be able to teach you,
how to reach those unholy
desires.

17.

I’ll be on that half moon  
rising
  Dancing on laps
   good lord knows
    I really need the cash

Using my tears
to control rising tides
Just like a flood
my love comes
and goes

I love the days
when the full moon
Rising sun
North Star
share the sky
full of possibilities

Rare days such as those
I swear I can hear
the Angels
their singing

Can you be my
white curtain?
Can you be my
sun rise?

Bare skin
Candles lit
Good morning
Rough kiss

Love is seeing
those lights
when I look
in your eyes

    
18.

Where do I bury the man I love
most?

A man a barely know. I’ll call  
you my broken ghost.

In my veins my blood pumps    
because of you.

That’s the vein I want to bury
you in pain too.

That way every time I try to
use that vein to get rid of
the pain.

You remind me of the pain that
made me loose you.

That’s why on my wrists I got
these tattoos.

Where I can look right at how you turned my heart black too.

I give you forgiveness
go get some rest.

One on my left.
Left empty again.
Left alone once again.

Nomadic heart break after heart    
    break.

In a place where almost is my
happy ending.

19.

For a long time I’ve waited,
marking the graves.
My bedroom has become a ritual place.
In flower Petals I drown.

Funeral songs replaying.

Black vinyl. Tinted window. Killed a spider. I’m a widow.

I’m burning every black thing down.
I’m heading to town. I
Gonna rob a house.
  Gonna take something
   blue.
  That makes it my
   borrowed.
  Tell your wife,
I’m borrowing you too.

Something old,
is the days I spent waiting    
for you.

Say your vows right,
I’ll show you new tricks in my    
bedroom.

Living room, public bathroom   wherever strikes the mood.

When I grow up. I will find
the place you hide your pain.

I’ll take it away.
That is what I promise,

I do.