I need you to know that walking away from you is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made and I regret it each and every day.
I need you to know that it kills me wondering what could have been.
I need you to know that I painted my bedroom walls black because I couldn’t bear your shadow following me into my room every night when all I wanted was for you to be there with me.
I need you to know your shadow has a voice and it speaks to me in tones that I can’t escape from.
I need you to know that I stopped sleeping because I prefer sleepless nights over the nights you sway in and out of my dreams; it just isn't fair.
I need you to know that I only stopped listening because each beat reminded me of how desperately I wish I was listening to your heartbeat instead, but I’ll always still be your biggest fan.
I need you to know that even though you are so far away, I’m certain it was your hands that swerved my car back onto the road when all I wanted was to be wrapped around a telephone pole.
I need you to know that ashes of you fell down on me as I walked away and I have carried them in a locket around my heart ever since.
I need you to know that I only stopped saying good morning and good night because ever since I left I’ve been caught in a new moon and there’s no light surrounding me.
I need you to know that the last four years have been spent just wishing I could finally come back home.
I need you to know that I shutter at the thought of her beside you.
I need you to know that I was counting on it being me.
I need you to know that I wish it was me.

And although I can never tell you how I truly feel, I need you to know.