I have an aching in my heart And I'm not sure it can be cured It bashes and begs to be heard It begs to lunge out in tears and wreckless screaming It screeches and longs to be heard It tumbles out in fear and endless longing I am afraid I am deeply afraid I'm afraid of it coming back I'm afraid of losing hope I feel guilty that I am ok And she is not God what is your purpose with me I am filled with a hunger for love and lust to feel safe in another's arms again I miss everyone who's ever made me feel safe I long to be touched To be wanted I'm starting not to hate myself anymore I kind of like me Until I try on a pair of jeans That doesn't fit right Then I hate me again I hate my mirror F* I have so much to be grateful for Yet I feel so alone So afraid So numb So scared