walls are up
emotions locked down
head above water
trying not to drown

so much stress
anxiety
and depression
I flirt with death
and hide my expression

emotions elude me
though I feel them intensely
I am two things at once
both numb and full feeling

I spend most of my time
avoiding and daydreaming
searching for something
that can give my life meaning

I search for fulfillment
something or someone
emotional stability
comfort or safety

with so much to figure out
and a lot I still don't know
I'm trying to do my best
and that's enough for now