While I never thought of
Self inflicted scars and the
Silvery afterthoughts that
Always seem to follow,

I did think quite a bit about pain.

Pain that drowns, consumes,
Baffles, and clouds,
Until you aren’t your mind and
Your mind isn’t you
And the disconnect is concerning.

Sometimes this pain
Manifested in this or that way.
Mostly it was a fog
In which my eyes couldn’t see
Ears couldn’t hear
I wasn’t human
I wasn’t me
I just was.

The flickering exit light
usually shown through
This fog but I never
Had the energy
To take the running leap
It required.

While depression
Is familiar to me
Like a middle school friend
Now gone,
I sometimes miss
The warning signs
And then I’m
Catatonic.