i lay awake at night
forced to allow them in
my vulnerability is their invite
they relish in my pain
and in anger invade my thoughts
when i try to evade my despair
they commonly rest at day to be
ready to try again at night
a passenger in my own body
unable to commit to my faith
but is able to commit to death
i have begged and pleaded for it
to come so maybe they are answering
my pleas, aiding me to poison
they were disappointed when
i failed twice.
failure in everything they said
i am they