in a kitchen
smelling of dark roast
i ask
where the toothpaste
is, and you say
you forgot to
bring some yesterday
because —
"i was so in love with you"
"i mean,
not in ...love...
but you know,
you were beautiful"
you awkwardly
laugh,
and i awkwardly
backstep
into the shower.
this has been
a wonderful time
but i know
i'm not going
to see you again,
and you're
okay with that.
still
this little moment
is good.
we sit on the couch
i tell you
the too-sweet-for-my-taste
coffee is
actually great.
and you tell me
that you want
grandchildren,
and children
and a nice
homely life.
something about
the way you
stretch your arm out
to pull me in,
while we watch
television
is endearing.
and you're
lovely.
but i don't want
the life you want
and in a way,
i don't accept
what you bring.
you don't deserve
what i bring.
however,
still
this day —
here,
is just wonderful.
good thing
i don't mind
being told
that i'm loved
accidentally
or
not.