today is not a day
to be alone.
when dad comes home i
run down the stairs
seek comfort in his arms
the two amigos,
standing through constant **** since 2011.
yeah, i'm almost 20
as i so frequently reiterate
mostly because i feel like a failure of a human being
but hey
i'm almost twenty...
and even though i'm near the end of my childhood
forever
my dad's deep
warm
strong comfort
after having a nightmare
cannot be compared
to anything.

we talked about mom today
remembered
old feelings
wished
prayed
for something to change
even after all this time
we haven't given up hope;
especially dad.
we dream about owning that piece of property
up on the hill
with the pond
and all the acres of farmland
the kids would love
to run through
where the dead part of my writing
that was lost with my childhood home
could be revived...

today i just want to
soak up the one
last
small piece of family
i have....

my dad.