I hear it’s necessary to move on
But it’s tough to close all my feelings
When I get reminded of you
Like the rings I took from your nightstand
Small, plastic, don’t fit my fingers
But they’re from our first kiss
My first kiss
They sat there on my desk
Silently asking why
Why did we break up?
You said that we rushed into things
You said that you mixed feelings
Of attraction and friendship
That you holding me in your arms
Kissing me
Telling me that you care for me
That it all felt wrong
You didn’t even say this to my face
I read it on a screen
In between a snap from Alice
Saying that she’s bored
And a snap from Alexia
Asking me to help patch your friendship
Which you broke off when we started us
And started back when we ended
Meaning that you were straying from her
Because you had feelings for her
And kept them from me
To keep me from being jealous

I found out on Snapchat
I started crying now that I’m writing this
The first time I’ve shed a tear since
Because I couldn’t get closure
From a snap
You could have at least called me
Let me hear your voice
Ask you why this was happening
I could’ve asked to keep our friendship
I could have cried these tears
Rather than bawl now
Sitting on my phone
On a chair in my room while Dark Souls plays in my computer monitor
Crying now because I couldn’t before

My parents didn’t know about us
I can’t talk to them about it now
Especially when I start to choke when I see you
I could have had closure
From talking to you rather than
Writing another ******* poem
This isn’t even helping
I can’t call you though
Without seeming desperate
Without seeming like I need you in my life
For this I hate you
But the hate isn’t giving me the closure I need