my memories exist
like cinematic moments
of excellence
of sadness
of beauty
of cruelty
in my mind
all the time
I remember every shadow
every shade of blue
I remember you
I still feel you
I've told you my brain is always busy
I mean it and it's exhausting
I'm stoic and vague
distracted like it's a plague
I've been wearing the same old flannel  
for three ******* weeks straight
I want to be good
I want to feel good
damaged goods
but I'm good