I go to sleep for a bad dream, reality check with a dramatic scene. I've said things and done things I dont mean.
I wake up and realize I want to go back to sleep. I feel pressure and it's hard to breathe. I'm non-compliant at home because I want to isolate. But then the voices and thoughts in my head cause me to hesitate.
I escaped and got no where, now I'm back to square one. I'm jotting down the flaws I've made and the **** that's been done.
I've got no confidence, my writing helps a bit.
Tell me I'm not of worthy, because I'm already aware I'm not. Announce it to me so I dont catch myself being defiant.
Where to go from here, don't know. But it's that time to pull out a map for a direction. I'm again trapped in a dark place. I guess I'm on a home visit with depression because that's all I know. Lights out because i shattered the lights again. I've caused a heart to be open. Now i can stitch it up bits late and now I'm in a corner crying and daydreaming.
My bad dreams are at least a place where I can't feel this amount of pain.