I need to stop lying to myself.

The truth is right in front of me; all around me. It surrounds me everywhere I go, and it's finally time to just let it in and accept it.

I'm not happy.

To be quite honest, I don't think I ever was. I mean, I've had happy moments, happy experiences, happy days... But there has always been something, whether it be a feeling or a certain person, holding me back.

I'm not happy.

Yes, I smile.
Yes, I laugh.
Yes, I act like everything is fine.

I'm fine.

See, that's the biggest lie of all. People live their lives all the time with a fake smile on their lips and the constant, pathetic "I'm fine"'s every single ******* time someone asks them what's wrong. And the worst part of it all, is that they actually convince these people!

No... Perhaps not.

Maybe the real problem here, is that these people just don't care. They are simply too lazy to look at a person and see them for who they really are. To break through the fake smiles and forced laughs and find what's hidden on the inside.

The pain. The insecurities. The desperation. The loneliness.

It's all there. Right before your very own eyes. But everyone is just too **** blind to see it.

Are they scared?

Are you scared?

Scared that you might just be the exact same as all these people? Scared that helping them will unleash the monsters inside of you?

Well, let me tell you something.

I'm scared.

I'm scared. Terrified even. Terrified of the person I've become, and the person I'm becoming. I'm terrified of these thoughts; these horrible thoughts that keep me up in the night and leave me in a cold, shivering sweat. These thoughts that stay in my mind each and every day. Every day, every minute, every second.

They never leave.

I'm scared of this monster inside of me. I see it in the mirror; the most disgusting creature anyone could ever lay eyes on. How is it even possible for me to retain something so gruesome, so inhuman?

But I created it...

It's my own fault. I shouldn't have let it in. I shouldn't have let it control me.

But now, it's too late.

It has become me.

I am a monster.

*Yet no one else can see it...