I have loved you
through many sleepless nights,
spent crying,
thinking,
holding you.
I have loved you,
through pancakes for breakfast and behind closed bedroom doors blocking out the light.
I have loved you,
on
and on
and
on
forever.
Because although we are not together,
our hearts touched long ago,
and blood does not forgive.
Blood does not forget.

I have loved you,
under shelter from rain under black umbrella,
running to the bus stop where you have kissed me goodbye.
I have loved you,
through laughter and pain and hospital nights.
I have loved you.

I love you,
and I am terrified you will forget me.
Terrified that you will forget all these things I have loved you through,
and all these things you have loved me through.
And though we have loved each other through so many things,
I have also loved you before I was born,
before I was conceived,
before I was pushed out into existence kicking and screaming for love.
I hope with all my heart that I did not love you more than you me,
but I do not know.

I have loved you,
and I will love you,
through not hearing your voice,
through not feeling your hand in mine,
through not witnessing you grow old,
through not sharing wedding vows,
through not dying together.
I will love you,
through and through
Forever.