Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
He drank too much whisky
And drank too much beer
So it finally caught up and he passed out I fear

Humpty Dumpty died when he fell
Humpty Dumpty broke his eggshell
His egg white poured out
And so did his yolk
The townspeople cried as they watched Humpty croak

Humpty Dumpty led a good life
Humpty Dumpty had a shrewd wife
When she heard the news
She called for the law
She wanted his goods, and she wanted them all

Humpty Dumpty became quite rich
Humpty Dumpty carved his own niche
He made wise decisions
His portfolio was fat
He made lots of money by inventing the hat

Humpty Dumpty had a good name
Humpty Dumpty never lacked fame
He had a big house
With servants and varlets
He'd hang out in Vegas with Hollywood starlets

BUT....

Humpty had a shameful condition
He put himself in that position
He frequented people
With questionable talents
And contracted a disease which effected his balance

NOW....

Humpty Dumpty lies in his grave
Humpty Dumpty can no longer shave
He's drawn his last breath
It's the end of the show
And his wife has run off with a young tennis pro