So thats that I guess.

I broke out into a sweat
The moment I realized it was you
On the other end of the telephone
On the other end of the teloo
Phone.

I tumbled down into
My own rabbit hole
My hands reached out for the past
It has so often had my back
I saw a flurry of daggers, of knives
There is never a guarantee.

I drink red wine again
Its taken me so long to get to here.

He said
You're on land and I'm on sea
I asked if maybe it was the reverse
I think we both know the answer.

I had to release myself into the night
Not quite ready for the hands of a new man
I proceed with a serious caution
Particularly as you open the door
As I opened the door.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever cried about me.

I had a moment where it occurred to me
I thought something is in the water
My past is reaching and reaching
And it is ultimately because of me.

My mind feels so awake
And I wish I was someone who could
Go to bed early
And carry around less worries
I wish that in order
To live a big busy life
I didn't have to disappoint someone or something
Along the way of the maze.

I said write to me
Like one of us was lost at sea
And I'm here on land
Looking through my telescope
Hoping to spot you
Spot you in your mighty ship
The ship I always hoped would best equip you
Like a lone ranger
I could portray, paint
Vividly
Wildly
And with an acute sense of style
Create a whole scenario
Where you existed entirely on this ship
Sailing towards and away
From me on grounded
Land.

I first stepped carefully into the water
From your boat you urged me on
I became more comfortable with the wetness
Before I knew it my whole body
Immersed in the liquid of the pond
I would first write about
And portray with my words
To you and for you
To try and make you better understand
The first act
Of your quiet, thoughtless
Mistreatment.

It wasn't enough for me yet though
I'd already gotten so wet
So smooth with the water
You had promised was good to drink
And so I, body, limbs
Fully slept under the water of your sweet spells
With humble bare minimums
And a chunk of change in my pocket
Reminding of the sweet emotional
Spendings I was spending
And spending on you
And your halfway
Love.

I said today on the tele
Phone
That I know now it was never me
As we acknowledged our insatiable taste
That I don't know will ever go away
For one another's skin
One another's approval
One another's losses.

Its been sad, really very sad
To give you up sweet Alex
I never liked the way you looked exiting
From my heart
My head
My balanced eyes
And bed.

But so you went
Or really
So I went
In the end.

Be well.
You know.
You just know.