I'm glad it is almost Friday.

I drink champagne
Perhaps a little too much.

Writing and scheduling
Connecting and reflecting.

I hope for so much.

Sometimes I feel like I reach for nothing
And I imagine disappearing completely
Surrendering to a time
Of uncertainty
And a little bit of well earned
Pride.

My life in Chicago is glittery and full of grit
Papa never responded to me
Everyone gets ready for little brothers graduation
That I decided to avoid
This time.

The 1AM hour grows near
I know I must retire to bed
And forgive myself for the ways within which
I was not at my best today.

For a moment there
I shined because I hoped the men
Would tell me I mattered.

I don't weigh my worth in the palms
Of careless humans anymore
I don't weigh my worth
In anyone's hands but my own.


A photo of me
From when I was 14 years old
Surprised me tonight
I spun him in circles
Because its funs to play poker.

I remember before you left
I could feel that everything was about to change
Somedays I feel so strong and mighty
And others I still can't believe the little
Big things I've lost.

There is a comfort to the silence of the growing night
I wish I could go to bed at more reasonable hours
I hope and long for so much
Forever
And for always.