i guess

i always knew you weren't invincible

but when you looked at me with those

eyes (dark like night, glittering with adventure

and intelligence)

sometimes i forgot



and sometimes when i saw you

i'd wonder

if it was a front

but i never pressed too hard

because i'm not sure i wanted to find out



but like a crack in the wall

your defenses fall

and i see you all

and i am scared

no

terrified



once again (and again and again)

i miss the point

i look away

or never see in the first place

and i don't notice the suffering



i'm only let in

at the end

to see what i missed

and to see what i never could have changed

or would not have understood



and

i am sorry