Guilt

The worst feeling in the world.
It slowly eats away at my mind
Until that’s all I have left.
The guilt.

The hardest part about
dealing with it is I know
it’s something I’ve caused.
The difference between
feeling and being.

It’s my fault.
I could have prevented it.
But it’s too late now.
All that’s left are what ifs.

What if I would’ve thought before I said that?
What if I let you make your own decision?
What if I wasn’t here?
What if I would’ve answered that phone call?
What if I really do have a choice?

I wouldn’t have hurt so many people.
You wouldn’t be filled with guilt.
You wouldn’t want to die.
I would’ve been able to say goodbye.
Maybe I caused all of this.

I can't fool myself.
Not again.
It's all true.
Every part of it.
I need to man up
and face my jury.

On the counts of
being an *******
being too domineering
being a mistake and a reminder
being selfish
and being what you never wanted me to be

I'm guilty.