I just ran.
I didn’t fight,
I didn’t try to
Get him away from you
I didn’t pull him
By his shoulders and
Rip him from your
Near corpse, no.

I ran.
I just, ran into
The room with fear
In my hands
Making it difficult
To lock the door
And I never once considered
How the hell you would get in.

I never told him to stop
I never told him to go away
I never told mom
And I never had the confidence to say
What I needed to
To get him away from you
And help you breathe
Again.

I sat there on the floor
With my sister in my lap
With headphones in her ears
No chance of
Hearing the searing
Screams
Let out by your small
Body

I just let it happen

And with every breath
I took
I knew he was taking one
Away from you
Knocking the ability to properly
See, away from you
And I
Who was just scared
Sat there with no thought
Of trying to make it stop

God I’m sorry

If I had just pushed him away
If I had just gotten him off
If I had just let him see how it
Affected me and
Let it sink in that this
Is not how you treat children
Maybe I could’ve helped
Prevent it.

But I just ran
I didn’t fight
I didn’t try to

And it’s my biggest regret
That I didn’t help you.