#feelinglost
My current life life is in a foggy, unclear state. I feel this longing for something or somewhere, but it’s too unclear to see where I should be heading. I don’t want to be stuck in the mud and just cave to this life that feels like the groundhog day.
I want to dare to step out, take a chance and see if life is more to it.
Where to start? When to Dare?
What choice should I make?
Many questions, no answers.
Just me in my own echo chamber, quietly whispering my dreams of freedom.
Freedom from the mundane, freedom from what seems like the only option.
My dad always told me you should always a direction in oife, because without it you are a boat on the sea with no direction.
Mar 9
Mar 9, 2026 at 7:11 AM UTC
My soul is dying
It's dying
I can hear it
It's crying
It's light is fading
It's being swallowed
By the dark
I plead
I yearn to find words
That truly belongs to me
I pressed my palm
Through the surface of my skin
Through my bones
And into my heart
Haunted by the fear
Of the nothingness inside
I bore my nails
Unearthing my flesh
Crying as I touched the mist
It's a hollow space, nothing left
I know there's something there
It's not missing, it's lost
I can feel its presence
It's calling me there
It's begging to be heard
It screams its struggles
Only for it to reach a void
I think
I've gone deaf
To my own voice
Mar 16, 2025
Mar 16, 2025 at 4:24 AM UTC
I’m bombarded with everything and nothing at the same time
Everybody wants something from me and I’m too fed up to reply
I hate that at these hard times I’m turning my back
And running away instead of facing it with pride
The moment I wanted to step out outside ,
I realized I have no one to share laugh
And I know I have no one to blame but myself
But honestly, I get sicker and sicker each day
Jan 18, 2025
Jan 18, 2025 at 12:54 PM UTC
I’m an ocean without any waves
A song without any sound
A book without any words
A car without any gas
I’m a shell of who I was
Who I want to be
Who I meant to be
Oct 13, 2024
Oct 13, 2024 at 4:23 AM UTC
Ecclesiastes one
These thoughts, these feelings I thought I was the only one
I remember when there was a time when I could breathe out carbon dioxide and breathe in oxygen
I remember a time when the world shone so brightly but that was way back then
I remember when the world felt alive
Full of possibilities, wonder, and a reason to live
Ecclesiastes one
It's neigh, it neigh, your time shall come
Be patient and get through it for what reason; I guess it's meaningless too
I've searched, and I found that the only reason to do this is for you
But why me, Find someone else; I don't have the strength to pull through
People always go without reason or cause; why can't I be one of them too?
Ecclesiastes one
Hurry up, hurry up, speed it up so that it can all be said and done
Regal
Sep 14, 2024
Sep 14, 2024 at 1:36 AM UTC
Even if it won't help anybody but me
It has to be worth it anyway.
Writing down how I feel within me,
How my mind is leading me astray.
I once thought that I found the way
That I knew where I'm going and why.
I thought, I understand and can say
What is wrong and what is right.
Turns out I again was wrong
Things are different, more complex.
After all I feel broken, alone,
And it has become hard to relax.
I am wondering when it is time
For myself to just fall and let go,
To be able to let my thoughts be
And to breath, deeply breath, on my own.
Instead I am feeling estranged
From this world and my thoughts
Alienated.
I am trying to grasp what it means
And I don't understand,
Feeling frustrated.
This is where this poem leads us
Needless to say into the unknown
And repeatedly one may have asked,
Is there really nowhere she can go?
Sep 8, 2024
Sep 8, 2024 at 10:39 AM UTC
I'm not worried about my life
I am worried about my image
I am trying to strive and strive
Performing on a stage
Called life of strife
This life of strife
Hör auf, listen to me
Du bist nicht so wichtig
As it seems to be.
What? You feel hurt again?
I don't know what to do
My friend.
I don't know what to do, my friend.
Sep 8, 2024
Sep 8, 2024 at 10:18 AM UTC
I just ran.
I didn’t fight,
I didn’t try to
Get him away from you
I didn’t pull him
By his shoulders and
Rip him from your
Near corpse, no.
I ran.
I just, ran into
The room with fear
In my hands
Making it difficult
To lock the door
And I never once considered
How the hell you would get in.
I never told him to stop
I never told him to go away
I never told mom
And I never had the confidence to say
What I needed to
To get him away from you
And help you breathe
Again.
I sat there on the floor
With my sister in my lap
With headphones in her ears
No chance of
Hearing the searing
Screams
Let out by your small
Body
I just let it happen
And with every breath
I took
I knew he was taking one
Away from you
Knocking the ability to properly
See, away from you
And I
Who was just scared
Sat there with no thought
Of trying to make it stop
God I’m sorry
If I had just pushed him away
If I had just gotten him off
If I had just let him see how it
Affected me and
Let it sink in that this
Is not how you treat children
Maybe I could’ve helped
Prevent it.
But I just ran
I didn’t fight
I didn’t try to
And it’s my biggest regret
That I didn’t help you.
May 7, 2019
May 7, 2019 at 10:34 AM UTC
i used to love the scent of rain
not until it gives me pain
but who knows
maybe this is where my poetry grows
lately, i tend to walk alone
gives me the feeling like i'm never known
thoughts been treating me like a slave
and it's so hard to find a place that makes me feel safe
sometimes i can't feel my feet
most of the time, my heart beat
it's getting really hard to breath
maybe i'm getting closer to the death
as i'm walking away
kinda hoping that they'll beg me to stay
hey, what is this part?
is it where everybody's treating me like a dart?
throw me about a mile
and only be remembered as a small while?
Sunday, 15 January, 2017.
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 15, 2017 at 11:07 AM UTC
Not knowing where I belong;
Here, at home or beyond?
Spreading thin, cut in quarters,
What became of the unity we fought for?
Afraid of the landscapes built upon
We paint over lived canvases,
Struggling to focus for too long,
Looking for the creative thread among the masses.
Saying we will settle in years to come,
Waiting for a moment telling us its time,
"Don't you know that settling isn't for some",
They shout as they search for a place to call "mine".
Firstly perched close to the shore,
Seagulls as a waking call,
Horizons as signs of furthermores,
Avoiding any reminder of the restricting city wall.
Secondly a little closer,
To those who we hold in our hearts,
Greeting mornings with a train tracks murmur,
What an adventurous start.
Then wishes slowly lost their power,
Landscape stretch to resemble concrete cubicals,
Lighting up in the midnight hours
Yet another sign of the lost will.
Third is when we return to where it all started,
A full circle without filling the core,
Was this what all the searching led too?
Is home where I began reaching for?
It doesn't need an ending,
just a beginning and middle,
Endings are the one sure thing,
In life's great sodden riddle.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 7:56 AM UTC
time won't stop ticking
day won't stop switching
people won't stop changing
day by day, nothing remain the same
i have to make a move to stay in the game
taking steps forward to reach the future
but
when i stop taking another step and look around
i'm alone
i tried so hard to find my way back
but it was too late that i've lost
i am lost and i realize why i feel lost
it's not because i don't have a map
but
it's because i don't have a destination
Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 10:01 AM UTC
It’s hard to say
Whether you’ll be okay,
Or if you’ll be crushed
While your heart collects dust.
You can’t really know
When the pain will go.
Perhaps it will stay
Each and every day,
And try as you might
You’ll never feel right.
You’ll reach for thin air,
Enhancing the tear
That’s deep in your chest
Though you hide it with all your best.
The indefinite is what’s worst,
As it’s what truly hurts.
And so it’s very hard to say
Whether you’ll be okay.
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 1:56 AM UTC