Abusing cycle

Black and Blue face, Red marks on my body. This is the normal life for me.
People wouldn't believe.
Day in and Day out it couldn't get any worst.

His smirking at every teardrop I cry out, secretly I pray for a better outcome for me. His mentally insane and his friends can't see it.
I don't feel safe in my self.
I don’t feel safe round him.
I'm scared at every sound he makes.
I'm crying for help.
No one catching the signs I'm showing.

Fake appearances at family events, make up covers the shame and Saves worried faces. Saves family pretending they care. Hiding my hate for him was easy.
Gets me emotionally sick when I have to stand next to him and pretend.

He's a devil in disguise.
I'm his amusement park.
His fair ride when he's bored.
Alcohol is his excuse to become violent towards me when times feel rough for him.
It's also the main excuse for him to get out of the house.

I'm his punching bag for his excitement.
His ******* for his friends.
My battered body is damaged from inside and out. He has no idea because I hide it very well.
But really I'm crying out for a sign of escape and a healer.
I hide the lonely side of how I feel.
I've outgrown my enemies.
I can't show weakness towards my husband if I did he’ll abuse and abandon me even more.

If I was underwater and I needed a hand he would make me drown multiple of times.
I'm his house pet.
I'm eating scraps out of the unwashed bowl.
I'm begging for freedom when I silently shout for it and in my prayers.

If I could win a way to get back at him I could.
More like I would which in my heart I should and crawl out of this
Abusing Cycle.