Learning to grow up is hard, mostly when you lose yourself in a dark place. You learn to grow up when you lose someone close to you or when something clicks in your mind that you can not get something you need anymore. The more pressure you have on yourself, the more change that happens. Embrace the change, do not bring the past with you. Move on, evolve, change and become a better you. No matter what happens now, most of the pressure on you now will press you into a beautiful person. Mistakes may be made but it will only be in the past. Nothing matters as much as your life to yourself.