I find it it so unpleasant to see my reflection
I look at this skin that I'm in
And I can pinpoint every delicious sin
I can't bare to step on the scale
I"m so horrified by what the numbers will reveal
A painful reminder of how I failed to be thin
Oh please oh please just let me see
This other girl I wish was me
This sounds so juvenile
But I have felt this way for quite a while
Its a terrible thing to see nothing but ugliness
But  I'm just going to sit here and fake smile
Your eyes fixated on this monstrous person staring back at you
The mistakes
The Heartache
I can't confess to anyone
Not even my mother
You know how it goes
They will surely preach to me
You are beautiful you need to see it
Believe it
But I won't my vision is obscured
I will continue to hide behind these doors
Hide in the comfort knowing
No one will ever uncover my deep secrets
My deep thoughts that constantly consume me
Eat me from the inside out
Take control of me dig out my eyes
Show me a creature that is so disgusting and vile
But I won't share this
I promise
I swallow the key
I will  dig deep
Bury deep in the grave
In time they will surely fade
And a flower will bloom
And laugh hysterically at the thoughts and fears
Of a lonely ugly girl eyes filled with tears
I let these tears drown me
As I lay here and reflect on all of this
If only, I could rip out my my mind
Or find  an off switch