why can i never maintain a friendship?
i also bring it to something more
i can't seem to let myself just be happy
it almost like i don't want it
i'd rather be with you than be happy
but would i be happy then?
or can i just be happy now?

why can i never maintain a friendship?
with you, it just got awkward.
but i barely even did anything
i wasn't even the one who told you
leave it to someone else,
why did i think that was a good idea?
we drifted because it was just too weird.
******, why did i let that happen?

why can i never maintain a friendship?
with you, i stayed silent.
i think you might have known
but we were smart enough for once to stay calm
and not say anything
but was that worth it?
we could have been amazing before you left.
******, why didn't i say anything?

why can i never maintain a friendship?
with you, i was cautious.
a complete stranger to me brought it up
caught me completely off guard
and at that time i knew i wanted you
but you weren't so sure
why are we so afraid of each other?
i'm ready to be reckless again.
******, why can't i do this?

why can't i just manage one friendship?