I once  met me a woman, she put me in my place
She said I was a chauvinist, an absolute disgrace
I'm one hundred percent male, I readily  admit
But just because it's true you shouldn't throw a fit
She reached into her purse, pulled out a can of mace
She put her finger on the trigger and shoved it in my face
My reflexes got the best of her, her aim was high and wide
She scared the hell right out of me to that I will confide
I love the female intellect to that I won't deny
I love the female form in every shape and size
If that makes me a pervert I'll wear the badge with pride
We'll leave it to the jury, it's their case to decide
You see  them all around you, there's wackos everywhere
The madness on the street is way beyond compare
The inmates run the asylum, I'm really not amused
Must be the golden age of the utterly confused.