Why do I do it?
How does it help?
So many dark thoughts that I’ve kept mainly to myself

Is there something wrong with me?
Am I mentally insane?
To want to cause any sort of self pain

No matter the object
No matter the cause
I’ll never stop thinking and thinking of my flaws

One day in the future
Another day of torture
Someone will find out that I’ve been faking my happiness and my eyes will fill with tears of horror

But of course I say I’m fine
That everything’s going quite well
But will someone ever realize that sometimes I just feel like hell?

People have found out
But nobody cares to see
If I’m even getting better than I had felt previously

I still try to do things
That others couldn’t even imagine
My family would never even begin to fathom

I’ve done well to hide most of the pain
But will it ever end?
Perhaps after high school, or even when I have a caring and TRUE friend

Because as long as I say I’m fine
Everything goes well
But alas it is not true, my feelings will never be “show and tell”