.finally! i've been skewing, stalling, to write this one sentence for almost a week, not out of difficulty, but out of a nuanced castacade of observation that "got in the way"... how else to begin rather than with a fireside adlous huxley 1950s english... that grand extract from the history of a language, that sardonic look upon a saxon past.... well... the evil of hollywood when it comes to movies with scenes of actors brushing their teeth... evil, evil, evil, loki-esque diabolical... chauvinism via elbow shuffling: via elbow pushing past the english sacrosanct idea of the supermarket queue... cordiality mon frère... cordiality mon frè(re) - grave accent? you write in the -re: but you cut off given the grave accent on the e-grave... mon fré! it's evil what they do in hollywood h'america... all those movies... actors brushing their teeth, spitting... they brush, they spit... but they don't rinse! and what's wrong with the pea-sized amount of paste once a day? why two times a day? once a day will do... and... once you've brushed your teeth?! you rinse them! you don't do what hollywood actors do, you don't brush your teeth, spit out dry and "forget" to rinse your teeth afterwards... pea-sized amount of paste, brush, spit, rinse... you have to rinse your teeth after the brushing... you don't climb into bed thinking the non-rinsed teeth are your extra: chewing gum! when you brush your teeth: you rinse... i'm a tobacco smoker, all the adverts suggest i should be having stains on my teeth... i'm not getting the scaremongering stains expected... i don't follow hollywood's dentistry's rules... i rinse my gob once i've scrubbed my ivories... hollywood is evil that way... it's all marathon man herr szell (laurence olivier) when it depicts actors brushing their teeth, spitting the paste out, but not rinsing! pea sized dollop, once a day, but rinse rinse rinse! tongue come ice-ring on the touchy-feely side of things after... tongue skidding on enamel!

i once loved...

   what an unfathomable
presence of an unbelievable
statement...

  i once loved...
it almost feeds into
my luxury of vampire fiction...

i once loved...
i did...
but then...
whatever love there was,
to begin with...
had to become morphed
into the ugly circumstance
of experiencing
the basic foundation,
of reality.

i no longer love,
i do what other people tempt
"to love",
the basic realism of
the exploited, unaware...

          i once loved from
the pages of fiction,
of poetry...
        now?
         this, lost idealism...
well...
the love it kept intact...
but the interactions
kept limited...
                whatever counter
theory
comes my way...  
      an open wheat field...
and a scuttling ramble's
worth of a brain
to match it;
nothing worth being desired
to match a father figure,
or compose itself into
a figurehead
for the worth of establishing
family.