.come to think of it, there's that other album i loved learning on the guitar, notably for the song: show me how to live... audioslave - self-titled album... could play most of the songs... i once played with a drummer, a swiss exchange student, who was in a band back in switzerland... tobias... otherwise? a pretty ****** affair playing an electric guitar all by yourself, unless you're making haunting solo-interchanges-with-rhythm akin to ol' cobain, shackled in his sociopathic house with leeches for roommates... but there was something else... what was it? what, was it? ah... prompts... nothing beats reading some heidegger or looking at the qabbalah version of hebrew... to stir the mind into itchy fingertips... two drinks down and i'm geared up... how many nicknames i have for my cats? too many... the female cat i sometimes call tyson fury, by the way she tries to conceal either her no. 1 or her no. 2 in the "cuvette" (yes, that is, a misnomer, but i like the word, so i used it... in that place where cats do their no. 1 & no. 2 with all the "raisins" to cover their seemingly irritable sense of "sin")... the male maine ****? big *******, almost 10kg, big as a fox... his nickname? bodzio... since he always appreciates a head-**** as a greeting, sticks his head out and: ****... heads meet... i also call him the: choir boy... i've never heard a cat make so much ****** noise... i stopped counting the number of meow variations he can usher out... fine during the day, at 4am? not so great; well... if animals don't have a soul, or rather: they have impure souls... i'm pretty sure they have a **** distinct record for character... people? eh... you rarely meet people with character, sure, they have personalities, cats don't have personalities: except one... a cat personality... but cats are more likely to have a character than any known man, since there's no chance for them to grasp a personality... the female ****? soames (forsyte)... such an anti-social cat, pick her up she complains... zołza... i almost miss owning a dog, dogs are fun when you're young... but at least with cats... you can just ignore them: you do your ****, they do their ****: everyone's happy... as an only child i liked a sycophant on a leash... but as i grew older... cats: because i can ignore them, the most natural solipsists... and mind you... what is solipsism if not a superior version of atheism? current trend of youtube cencorship (no point boasting about viewcounts of subscribers, but at least reading imposes the high-jump filter, any idiot can watch a video, spurred with ill-will in the comment section, report etc., much harder to pursue censorship when: you have to read something, rather than passively watch a video)... ****... they reduced the "suggested" feed to only 12 videos per video... so much for finding glitches and new bands, back to the tedium of using last.fm... as i once watched a h'american give a talk in a conference: solipsism is a mental illness... my my... why are the h'americans toying with psychiatry? at least i'm not chemo-phobic... i'll pop a psychiatric pill over a whiskey... i'm currently using an anti inflammatory as a sleeping pill... naproxen... solipsism, is a mental illness? seriously? something that can't exactly be put into practice, like catholicism? wow... i always thought that solipsism was a tier above atheism... atheism bores me... it's the sort of boredom that a psychopath serial killer would associate with existence per se... boredom... and even then... the thrill of the **** is also tied to: missing... of course christianity spread so easily in the roman empire, given the obvious plagiarism of the greek gods... no other plagiarism in existence is so obvious, elsewhere? similarities, but not plagiarisms... a fresh god appears, of course he would appeal... how else would ha-shem conquer if not from a position of weakness? everyone still remembers Zeus, a father figure, venerates him, and all the others, in poetry at least... Odin still remains, another father figure... the runes are still here... but ha-shem will never be a father figure for me... it's impossible to arrive at that conclusion... no father figures in monotheism, even islam forbids it... sure... in polytheism, feasible... but in monotheism? it's no more a he, or a she, for that matter, an it... a h. p. lovecraft nightmare conjuring... and if this is infantile thinking, if all of this is a "delusion"... i've seen worse, i've heard of worse... and as such: there's no comfort in such a thought process... more... some extra spice to add to the curiosity that reigns in me over furthering my linguistic perusing adventure.

playing with my
           maine **** male
quorus,
   cat...
while gulping down
   root parsnip
with some raw turkey meat...
and then came the dream,
of falling asleep.
root parsnip
and raw turkey meat...
it almost makes
baltic sushi seem
like a luxury
         with the herrings!

all the while...
drenching my face with cold,
cold, tap water,
cusp of hands...
hereby: drop your pennies
for best wishes...
pretending to sober up;
sober this.