Fooled by my own exaggeration
of how much I meant to you,
My speciality.

Agony is my new constant
Haunted by your disappearance
Hear it's departure, as your feet
beat onto the concrete as you
walk away from me.

He, never was mine, no
No, but I certainly tried
until I fried my eyes from their
sockets, and gave myself a
pocket of self-hate

Wait no longer, stay no more
bored was he by my existence
un-stimulated
un-lovable?
I am completely troubled.

Humbled constantly by rejection
Heck should I stop the effort?
Step forward or step back?
Cracked at the center of my sternum
Hurt from
all the break ups and
constant, harsh, wake-up calls
I've received

Give me peace, give me a reprieve
from the constant apathetic weave
that always seems to curve around my being
Beat me, with something other than
indifference

My preference is to suffer from verbal
rejection, so don't make me beg on
my hands and on my knees
just put me out of my misery,
please.

Give me a "no" or even a blunt
"GO"
Own up to your own cowardice
behavior, save your five year old
self from beating up your
twenty-seven year old ghost.

Mostly-
I hosted you in my heart,
I created ART for you, held myself
towards you...
I thought it was clear
Objects in mirror may be
closer than they appear.

Contents fragile, handle with care
instead, you threw them at the wall
Appalled at your complete HATE
I can't wait any longer for you to grow

No, I know I am low in my life, currently,
but watch and see me rise
by and I will surpass you in all regards.
It'll be hard.

It may take every ounce of me
to be better than me
but I know I can, without you
I will be more than me
Without you.

Without your apathy