I still remember those days
In between classes around noon
I would go to Wendy’s
Order the same meal I have had dozens of times before
I would drive acrcoss the street and park in furniture fairs parking lot
I would briefly think
Who actually goes in there?
Their parking lot seems more used than the store
Then I would put on a YouTube video to watch lay the phone propped up against the speedometer in the middle of the dashboard of my Scion
I would unwrap my sandwich and look over at the cars of the people beside me doing the same thing.
Alone in our cars we would eat and occasionally share glances at each other
Even though others would laugh when I told them this and say it was sad it brought me comfort
I guess knowing those people were just as alone as I was made me feel better
I often wondered about their lives
What led them to this partially shared moment
Today I am humbled by this memory
I have found myself alone in my car in a parking lot again
Left to think about my life
I still no as little about what I am doing with my life maybe even less as I was then
This used to be my most honest place of confession
My silent cry for help
But in a false sense of perceives newly found strength
I thought I could share it with others
Now I deeply regret
How I have even ruined that for myself
I have never known secrets that I needed to keep, not wanted to keep.
I wonder where those people are now
I wonder if they ever find themselves in a parking lot wondering about me.