i cut ladders
up and down
my legs
my arms
my stomach

maybe
if i cut just deep enough
space the
perfect straight lines
just so
just this far apart

i will be able to climb
up up up

dig my feet into
the bright pink muscle
push the skin apart

and climb the bean stock
to a universe
where

my skin is not too tight
my eyes are not broken
my seams are not ripping
my soul is not shattered

spiralling
out
of
c o n t r o l

saveme

i make ladders
full of hope
because i have none