I thought it would fail,
because I just wasn't slick.
But I trained and I practiced,
and I learned all the tricks.

Then on March 31st,
I dressed in a black suit.
Topped it off with white gloves,
then went in search of my loot.

I was laughing and smiling,
gotta keep up the disguise.
Or you'll never succeed
when you're pedaling lies.

They fell right into my trap,
bought every last word.
The lines between truths
are now perfectly blurred.

I've got every one of them,
in the palm of my hand.
Simple props in my stage show,
and support for my brand.

When it's all over, I'll leave
in the smoothest of ways.
And you won't believe
what I've got planned for May.