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Apr 2019
It’s never been them, always her. This girl is terrified of commitment inside and out. She can’t commit to a single person. She knows she’s destined to do great things, but she never wants to stop or put a hole in someone else’s plans. Other people want kids, and a house with a white picket fence. She wanted someone who will love her and a small home on the outskirt of a city. She’s distant, sometimes dropping off social media and communication over the phone for days. She just gets sick of it sometimes and never responds. She worries her friends. No, it’s never been them, only her. She doesn’t care what they do, talk to others, go out, she doesn’t care. She trusts them no matter what. She believes if they cheat, they aren’t worth her time and she moves on. She’s always wondering if she’s found the right person. She’s always wondering what if. She can’t settle down because she might miss something. She wants her imagination to be real. She sets her standards to high. She wants someone taller than her, smart, funny, not clingy, masculine. She wants this guy, but if he exists, he’s with someone better. She’s stubborn and doesn’t want to change, but she needs to. She needs to learn to change if she ever wants to be happy. No one will be able to love her like this. But the other thing wrong with her, does she know what love is? Will she be able to love if someone else loves her. Will she be able to stop with the what ifs when she finds the right person? Will she know she’s with the one when those what ifs stop? Or will she have to stop them herself? The final question she must ask her, does she love herself? Can anyone love her if she doesn’t love herself first?
B
Written by
B  21/F
(21/F)   
137
 
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