It has been very long
I haven't bled.
Well, not on the outside at least
I've been bleeding internally.
This hemorrhage inside me,
I've been trying to put it off for so long.
I must be in a shock now
That's why my fingers grow numb as I type.
So much has happened
So much has been lost
So much has changed
Friends have been lost
And it's not one of those pesky memes,
Where they talk about best friends becoming strangers.
No, am talkin about real loss.
The kind that keeps you up at night
The kind where you can't imagine or even believe sometimes
That you can never ever let them know
About what just reminded you of them
When you miss someone really
Whom you can never get back
(Not at least in this world)
Something like that
Can make you immensely grateful
For the ones you got now
So even when there's a dumb argument
The ego and pride holding you up
Can break completely
Cause you don't wanna lose them again
Never again
So when you snap unintentionally
At someone you care for
That can eat you up inside
It can make you hate yourself,
Hate your hormones,
Hate your condescending mind,
Hate your emotions.
Coming back to that pesky meme
I wrote about earlier
Even those friends who have become strangers now
That can be gnawing too
Because you realize
You could've done better
So **** much better

And so I've bled.
After so long
It feels weird
As I barely write something
That doesn't rhyme
But this isn't writing
It is bleeding.